He loves me.
He knows me.
I know him, too, and I love him more than I can express with words.
The Lord has been way too involved in my life for me to think any differently. There is literally too much evidence to even attempt to argue any other way.
The week before this past one was quite possibly the most difficult week I had experienced since I moved away for college.
I have been stretched in ways this semester that I didn’t even know I could be stretched. It is rather crazy to see just how many curve balls can be thrown at you all at once!
Anyhow, it is in the most trying times that the Lord is also very prominent in my life. Actually he is always there—I just notice it way more when it is all I am relying on.
I had the largest test of my entire life, thus far, the Friday before last. I kept putting aside time to study for it, but other things kept happening that would take time away from studying. It was coming down to the wire, and I was getting very anxious.
I was stressed to the max, and it seemed like everyone else around me needed my help, too. Things kept coming up at work, or other homework assignments were due, or someone needed me at the last minute.
I was also running on very little sleep, but I was determined to do well on the test. I needed to do well on this test.
I was managing my stress fairly well, when Tuesday happened.
I was in the middle of a review for this big test when I received word from my dad that our dog, Mac, had cancer, and we needed to put him down as soon as possible. We are very close to Mac, and I knew how hard this was going to be for my family. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I just let them fall, and I got up and left. I walked straight home, and as soon as I came through the door, I lost any composure I had kept.
I needed and wanted to go home, but I couldn’t because of my test. There was literally no way I could go home to say goodbye to Mac or be with my family.
I was devastated, and I had a really hard time focusing.
It was also the last week that I had to spend with Karen and Kathy before they left on their missions, and I was having to spend it on my test.
Then, Wednesday, some boys from back home were texting me and pestering me—-the same two guys who had caused quite a few problems in my life for the past year or so. It was probably the worst possible timing for them to contact me and be unnecessarily rude.
That was the final straw.
I lost it. I was trying to study for this test, and everything was preventing it. I needed to do well on this test so that I could get into my major. My entire career was dependent upon this darn test, and at the looks of things, it was not looking very promising. I was doing everything I knew how to do. I was praying, reading my scriptures, and going to the temple, but it was still so hard.
My cute roommates realized that I was very stressed, and they talked me through everything. They listened while I cried and explained what was going on. It was good to get it all off my chest.
I finally made it upstairs after dealing with a few other things, and I just got onto my knees and poured out my soul to my Heavenly Father. I explained everything I was feeling and I asked for help. I was doing everything I knew how to do, and I was doing my best. I needed Him to help me make up for the rest. There was no way I would be doing this on my own.
Just as I finished my prayer, things started to fall into place.
I got an email from my professor who had cancelled my class the next day, unexpectedly. There was, and still is, no explanation for it.
Then, I found out a giant essay that was due that same week, was actually moved back two weeks.
The next day, I somehow found time to study for my test, and oddly, I knew how to work all of the problems.
Thursday night, I began a fast and went to the temple. I spent about three hours in the temple, and it calmed me down so incredibly much.
I studied until 1:30, then slept until 6, only to get up and finish studying. I went to class, then studied another two hours.
I felt too confident walking into the testing center. I was afraid I would fail.
But, I sat down and finished my test in half the time projected for the test, and I knew every single problem.
It was nothing short of a miracle.
I handed in my test, and slowly walked to the screen.
I waited patiently for my score to come up on the screen, and then, there it was.
Not only did I pass, but I got my A.
I did it.
No, actually WE did it.
I did not do this on my own. I had the Him with me every step of the way! He literally carried me through that entire week, and continues to carry me.
But, this is true for all of us.
He carries all of us. We really, truly, are never alone. He is there to help us. He is there to make up the rest! We all need to do our best, but we are not perfect. He knows that. I mean, obviously, He is not going to make something happen that isn’t meant to happen, but we do have to trust in Him. We will end up right where we need to be.
Sometimes the going gets rough, but when it does, pray.
He is there ready to help us and pour out blessings—-He is just waiting for us to ask. He will make up the rest, if we are doing our best.